YIKES!... it's the Thomas & Friends ManMountain
| I'm constantly on the lookout for toys that might hook my grandchildren into playing with model trains, a crucial first step towards converting them into full blown foamers. The other day I happened across this Thomas & Friends product, one that I shall not be showing to the grandkids. Normally, Thomas products are pretty benign stuff, but this one revolves around the threat of demise aboard a train attempting to escape an avalanche. While this theme seems a bit inappropriate, it nevertheless might pass muster as a lesser-of-two-evils when compared to the nuclear armageddon scenario that is so recurrent in kiddie games these days - save for one rather egregious design oversight. Initially, I dis not encounter the image of the complete set. Rather, I ran across an eBay listing solely offering its most crucial part, or more accurately, its most crucial member, which I have deemed as the ManMountain. Propriety compels me to sequester the bare naked image of it behind a link, given that while bloody, mass carnage is generally deemed acceptable for a family website, an allusion to sex is not. Frankly, I am at a flat loss to understand how this vital component made it past final design review, although Mark Twain did once remark that "A camel is a horse formed by a committee." I should note here that I failed to check to see if the eBay seller was offering free candy to induce the winning child to pick up the mountain in person. Dozens of further off-color comments come to mind here, but since I am not an overtly sick bastard, I shall confine myself to the following two observations: ManMountain appears to be suffering from a fungus, and perhaps a more appropriate description of it might be HermaphroditeMountain. Here's THE LINK. If you don't get what it suggests, you must have spent all your grade school recess time cleaning chalkboards, instead of receiving proper sex education from your mates out on the playground. |
